16:26:00
Kristen Stewart, star of the upcoming stoner-action flick (yes, that’s totally a genre) American Ultra has nabbed Nylon’s September issue cover. The corresponding editorial, penned by Margaret Wappler, is a raw, candid look into Stewart’s day-to-day life, including her distaste for fame, the gossip-mongering it inspires, and even her oft-discussed sexuality.
Following her
longtime relationship with Twilight costar Robert Pattinson, Stewart,
25, has been rumored to be dating visual effects producer (and constant K-Stew
companion) Alicia Cargile. But while the actress didn’t confirm her interest in
women—she definitely didn’t deny it.
When asked
about her dating preferences, Stewart said, vaguely (yet also
epically), “Google me, I’m not hiding.” Werd.
But that
doesn’t mean she’s ready to define herself or her loved ones now or
ever. “If you feel like you really want to define yourself, and you have
the ability to articulate those parameters and that in itself defines you, then
do it,” she says. “But I am an actress, man. I live in the fucking ambiguity of
this life and I love it. I don’t feel like it would be true for me to be like,
‘I’m coming out!’ No, I do a job. Until I decide that I’m starting a foundation
or that I have some perspective or opinion that other people should be
receiving…I don’t. I’m just a kid making movies.”
She hopes and
believes that, as our society becomes more progressive, her way of life won’t
be such a fascination. “I think in three or four years, there are going to be a
whole lot more people who don’t think it’s necessary to figure out if you’re
gay or straight. It’s like, just do your thing.”
But, while
the world might be opening up to Stewart’s brand of sexual fluidity, one thing
it shouldn’t get used to is… her smile. Dun dun
DUN!
Tuesday when
the topic, naturally, turned to her seeming inability to upturn the corners of
her mouth.
“You get a
lot of grief from people saying that you don’t go out of your way to smile,”
said Fallon, to which Stewart was (sarcastically) all, ‘WHAAAT?! What are you
talking about, I smile all the time!”
“Do you ever
freak people out and just go around being extra smiley?” Fallon asked her,
leading Stewart to reference some recent candid photos of her that most likely really improved your Monday.
“I went out yesterday and
wanted to be able to walk around New York without being followed around by
paparazzi, so I went out and just like, ‘Ha-ha-ha-HA!’” she recalls, with a
smirk. “It was kind of in response to… I’ve been doing a press junket for American Ultra, and every single question is, ‘So,
apparently you think you DO smile?’ And so I’m like, ‘No, I swear to you I do;
I can do it! Whether or not I smile at you…’”
But sadly,
Stewart says her momentary lapse in moody faces was a one-time thing. The
reason? It simply made other people too happy, and paid the paparazzi a little too well. It’s all in the balance,
people.
She
continues, “The next day, I totally ruined my chances, ‘cause [the paps] were
like, ‘Ooooh, we made so much money on those smiling photos!’ And now there’s,
like, 50 people outside. So then I’m like… ‘-_-’”
Basically, if
the world wants more pictures of Kristen Stewart smiling (with or without a
girlfriend/boyfriend), we’re all going to have to keep it a secret from her and
act like it’s NBD when she accidentally does. Or maybe her paparazzi should
just learn to tell funnier jokes. Our Mondays pretty much depend on it.
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